I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got inside last night via doggy door
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
