Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

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  (248): don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag. http://tfl.nu/8xve
  Replies (6) Good night (3742) Bad night (1178)
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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  (619): I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3dui
  Replies (15) Good night (2833) Bad night (2405)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?

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  (765): Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis? http://tfl.nu/def9
  Replies (21) Good night (1172) Bad night (3109)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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  (860): ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie http://tfl.nu/a0bb
  Replies (5) Good night (3096) Bad night (870)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt

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  (413): i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt http://tfl.nu/1w7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1602) Bad night (685)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.

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  (201): This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag. http://tfl.nu/iwnq
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (1250)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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  (402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r
  Replies (18) Good night (2930) Bad night (596)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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  (613): Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. http://tfl.nu/3xxn
  Replies (1) Good night (1593) Bad night (1140)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?

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  (425): Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You? http://tfl.nu/qxi1
  Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (1422)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else

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  (516): The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else http://tfl.nu/g6mk
  Replies (9) Good night (1265) Bad night (962)
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  (805): View more from California

  I want "hickeys on my ass" sex

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  (805): I want "hickeys on my ass" sex http://tfl.nu/gaw7
  Replies (11) Good night (1859) Bad night (601)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (629)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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  (720): Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay? http://tfl.nu/yxii
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (475)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse

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  (914): The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse http://tfl.nu/jfot
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (346)
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  (209): View more from California

  I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.

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  (209): I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went. http://tfl.nu/69c2
  Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (327)

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