Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
