I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend