some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
