I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...