Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna go to beed woth a nboy

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  (248): I wanna go to beed woth a nboy http://tfl.nu/x43t
  Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (1296)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4288) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.

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  (630): Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself. http://tfl.nu/qlu7
  Replies (42) Good night (6052) Bad night (1061)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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  (402): Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement. http://tfl.nu/h6nw
  Replies (43) Good night (868) Bad night (6537)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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  (203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs
  Replies (43) Good night (1353) Bad night (4180)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

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  (206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h
  Replies (47) Good night (15557) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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  (561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84
  Replies (15) Good night (4990) Bad night (1016)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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  (618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1757) Bad night (4759)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

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  (+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a
  Replies (5) Good night (2743) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

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  (406): drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/nkni
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.

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  (714): She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/8m40
  Replies (4) Good night (1738) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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  (613): I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots. http://tfl.nu/b0ef
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right

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  (732): watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right http://tfl.nu/79oz
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (753): View more from

  WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT

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  (753): WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT http://tfl.nu/5ao7
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor

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  (636): Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/1h6i
  Replies (0) Good night (161) Bad night (316)

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