Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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