I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize