she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
