So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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