question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
