Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
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Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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