I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
