the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
