Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
