Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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