i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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