You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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