The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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