chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
