Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
