there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
