So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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