I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
