So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont even know how to be here
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it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
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Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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