we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
