That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
