If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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