Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
