His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
