i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.