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• (804): View more from Virginia

  You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background

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