I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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