ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul