Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm
  Replies (78) Good night (15602) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention. http://tfl.nu/x7xj
  Replies (45) Good night (4605) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009 http://tfl.nu/ne91
  Replies (5) Good night (3893) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help http://tfl.nu/q44r
  Replies (22) Good night (3728) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r
  Replies (9) Good night (4149) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom. http://tfl.nu/xop2
  Replies (2) Good night (1571) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5
  Replies (8) Good night (1780) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf
  Replies (1) Good night (1800) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1807) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster. http://tfl.nu/q387
  Replies (6) Good night (1021) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry. http://tfl.nu/zqk1
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze! http://tfl.nu/6miw
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex. http://tfl.nu/3doz
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (433)

Randomize