living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we should paint friendship bongs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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