Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

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  (989): i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed http://tfl.nu/j2ib
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (1101)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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  (972): the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool http://tfl.nu/pe2b
  Replies (13) Good night (558) Bad night (888)
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  (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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  (530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl
  Replies (44) Good night (987) Bad night (4906)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....

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  (206): We just picked up about 540 lbs of women.... http://tfl.nu/g6wv
  Replies (179) Good night (1532) Bad night (3055)
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

  (1-475): View more from Connecticut

  exact location. now.

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  (475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v
  Replies (26) Good night (1577) Bad night (3525)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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  (519): I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/14d6
  Replies (14) Good night (4308) Bad night (1428)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

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  (507): Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk." http://tfl.nu/biax
  Replies (15) Good night (4981) Bad night (508)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.

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  (706): Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus. http://tfl.nu/wtrd
  Replies (16) Good night (929) Bad night (3575)
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  (707): View more from California

  just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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  (707): just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved. http://tfl.nu/zste
  Replies (20) Good night (9690) Bad night (923)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

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  (201): The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card. http://tfl.nu/lm1u
  Replies (15) Good night (2721) Bad night (777)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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  (513): i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution http://tfl.nu/2azu
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (591)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?

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  (714): I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what? http://tfl.nu/ezau
  Replies (7) Good night (1197) Bad night (504)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.

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  (610): I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird. http://tfl.nu/yqaf
  Replies (19) Good night (2424) Bad night (573)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

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  (250): Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom. http://tfl.nu/94fe
  Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (860)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?

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  (248): On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he? http://tfl.nu/et15
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (277)

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