I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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