She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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