FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
