yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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