So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
