12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
