I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
