i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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