I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize