K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
