Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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