This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
