Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
