Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I want is dick and wine.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
