For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize