Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
