I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
