awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
