there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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