It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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