Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
