I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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