im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am naked and annoyed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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