therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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