We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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