I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
