At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
