well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
