I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
