I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize