A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
