My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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