Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
