Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
