I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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