I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
